Jonah Hex
Despite every bit of advance word that hinted otherwise, I steadfastly, stupidly held out high hopes for Jonah Hex. On paper, it still seems like it should work: a big-summer-movie adaptation of a comic-book western, starring Josh Brolin as the vengeance-set bounty hunter who's somewhere in between man and demon. A grizzled villain (John Malkovich) hellbent on blowing up Washington, DC, on the country's centennial celebration. Plenty of big guns, bigger explosions, and a very loose interpretation of American history. A scrappy, loveable mongrel dog sidekick who's both adorable and gross at the same time. A soundtrack by Mastodon. Megan Fox in a corset. But somewhere along the way, things went horribly, horribly wrong. It's a steaming pile of steampunk barf.
by Ned Lannamann