Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
A gimmicky film based on a gimmicky book. That much gimmickry should be fun. But it isn't! I did that head nodding, eyes closing, jerking-awake-in-panic thing four times—two of which were during the climax, in which a train crashes across a bridge that is also on fire while vampires attack it. Yet: boring! I don't even.
by Erik Henriksen